Architects of apathy - by me

Architects of apathy.
Architects of apathy design the synapses of my mind
I look across to check you finished what you said
Forcing every cell against its will I muster a response
Bothersome lights flicker and fight my attention
Too tired to sleep, too awake to dream I coast
Surfing reality ridge mountains through time
Stopping only to remind you I am here.

Highs - by me

Highs
Happy hard cased high jinx thrills
Snappy sentences jumping out
Overspilling with reasons and resource
All routes cleared for take off
The truth attainable with one neat leap
Only a body to hold me back
A thousand thoughts to make one sense
The universe unfolds just as it should
Harmony enfolds me and rushes through my veins
Bittersweet knowledge that this cannot last toys with me
The peace runs into anxiety, twitching at my brain
Jumps the happy harmony and brings me down again.

Nilsson Blues - by me

Nilsson Blues
Harry Nilsson playing - without her
Only this morning mimics my sorrow
Sitting beside me now she is a stranger
The large leap gap ever widens
Leaving me love lost, and undone
Wariness, and weariness of unspoken hurts
Memories jostle for highs and lows
Like the ultimate drug I cannot forgo a fix
Chasing the comfort of my one true love.

Pain clinic homework

I got given homework today from pain clinic and it is making me think. Which actors/actresses would play my life story to show my life as a whole.
Kind of got me thinking so far only come up with Johnny Depp in his Burton roles to represent my oddness, quietness, attention to detail and gentle sides eg: Edward scissor hands, the sleepy hollow detective - Ichabod Chrane, then wronged and darkly depressed as Sweeny Todd.
I think also I would like to be played by Edward Norton as he looks much straighter always than he is and has a deep wild side within him as in fight club where he continuously fought with himself in a split personality role. And more recently where he played Walter Fane in the Painted Veil (Somerset Maughan), within this he played a dedicated loving, but dull husband whose wife chose to have affairs not knowing all along what kind of man it was she was married to unit it was too late. He showed a relentless dedication to his job and his marriage despite the adversity around him. I carry on too despite what is thrown at me and try to keep the clean respectable look.

Freefalling -by me

Freefalling.
I live in a fixed fucked state of reality
My heart sits pavement low
The bright city lights burn my corneas
The kaleidoscopic flashing intoxicating me
Fragments of their conversations filter through
Permanent distance opens between wakefulness and dreams
A smog of bright lights and sound
Glimpses of the way back are few and far between
Like passages in a long forgotten wood
For now a forever free fall of colour and noise.

Minds eye - by me

My mind is like a washed up eel,
Releasing bolts of violent charge,
His once bright eye turning opaque in the baking sun.

November afternoon - by me

My body lies heavily beached upon the bed
Waves of thought break at the back of my head
Trapped within my messing mind
Words created go unsaid
Seas of blue ripple past the floor
Time measured by beeps and clicks
Weariness mixes with afternoon dullness
Churning guts more chemical than food
Reality moves an inch
Calm at last the monster sleeps.